Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Shuttlecocks, Poppycock and Dildoes

i was perversely delighted by Lee Chong Wei's defeat in the Olympics Badminton to China's Lin Dan.i have nothing personal against Chong Wei and his coach Misbun. Only that, imagine what such a triumph would have entailed in the mass and electronic media. We would have an overkill of the triumph with all that chest-thumping,flag waving, and that inevitable savage whoops of Malaysia Boleh so much so that we would have witnessed Mr Hypocrisy himself strutting out in a dandy tuxedo with Mrs Patriot on his arms ready for the Last Tango.And imagine, the media drenched with coverage that would make Katrina seem like a mild breeze and reams of paper devoted to that achievement.( I can imagine the poor trees supplicating effusively in gratitude) Yes sir.. all the indications were already there with the Chinese vernacular press engrossed with Chong Wei and the Malay ones focussing on the 'sifu', Misbun Sidek before the cataclysm...get the drift?... And all the spinmeisters extraordinaire jumping on the bandwagon, already commandered by our ertswhile politaikos, eager to indulge in some orgasmic bleating. This would not have been about lauding a countryman's achievement but just a momentary effusion of back slapping and camaredrie before the worn-out patriots return home to reality and change into their clothes of prejudice what with a heated by election proceeding in earnest and two parties battling for the nectar of power before the 16th of Ides in an Olympian struggle of mythic proportions. Throw in our annual Merdeka bacchanalia and any victory would surely metamorphosise itself into volumnious tomes about our arrivedeste,our progress in the league of nations. Be prepared for a pastiche of comments from the Bho's Bho and a montage of our earthshattering achievments being played out on our screen ad nauseum ad infinitum till kingdom come and more blah..blah..blah and bloddy blah while we blissfully ignore that nations like Jamaica nay even good ol Zimbabwe, home of Mugabe, are several notches above us in the medal standings. Nay... Revert... we have the supreme gladiaitors in Badminton and Squash .. sports so popular that the networks of the world are falling arse over head to get broadcasting rights lest a cash cow mooes away in disdain what with bill gates a recent convert. The fact is that we are so devoid of achievements in the real world, any triumph would do. Forget about a functional, well managed state, world class universities housing world class professors and students, a Islamic civil society par excellence, cutting edge technological innovations, a thriving knowledge based economy, a more equitable distrubution of the Gini coefficient, a safety net for the poor and the suffering, a world class maintenance and governance culture etcetra. Those are just false accoutrements of worldly nature..Lets bleat about how well our human exports are doing overseas in dedicated newspaper columns, and clutch at strawlike achievements like these and oh yes.......embrace tourists joyriding into space, where apparently the apparatus of life saving experiments conceived by brilliant minds in the bowels of our world class laboratories are floating in gay abandon as space relics for time travel archeologists ....oops Martians!.

Yeah! lets celebrate an Olympian demise of orchestrated mythmaking. Alhamdullilah for that. Last but not least, my personal commisserations to Misbun and Chong Wei and to Lin Dan, thanks for dildoing us back to reality!

Revert: Wonder why we are adept at passionately embracing these feats of global glory when we are equally adept at balking at the way our esteemed universities are ranked and gnashing from our shitholes of ignorance when someone questions our institutions - be consistentlah

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