Friday, October 17, 2008

The Infinite Lightness of Being

As i blog, this is the latest on crude oil:

Light, sweet crude for November delivery fell $4.69 to settle at $69.85 a barrel on the New York Mercantile Exchange.

And in Canland pump prices remain at a level higher than the 1.92 when a barrel was trading at about US$80 or so. Earlier, i posted elsewhere that we were probably subsidisng the subsidy and i think with the non-disclosure of the calculation mechanisms, this seems to be the case. If it is so, then we have the serious issue of near empty coffers or even an empty one rattling somewhere in the dungeons of Putrajaya. The denial syndrome is hale and hearty as always and in such circumstances, you can only gauge the extent of the impending havoc via a perusal of statements emananting from the pout of the Sphinx and its progenies
a) The country is economically resilient enough to withstand the impact of a global recession which then mutates to: b) impact of recession will be limited which then is qualified with c) the setting up of a retrenchment fund which in turn is shaded by d) a review of corridor building interspersed by this cameo e) Bank Negara to reduce interest rates and assurances about deposit guarantees

Thus, using spohisticated modeling tools such as Agent Based Computational Economics(ha!ha!ha!), i arrived at the following conclusion, after perusing the above tea leaves made harder by the fact that they are dropping rapidly on a daily basis in the winds of autumn (look out for more in the coming days and months):
a) there is going to be category 5 hurricane blowing through these parts by early next year, the outer bands of which will reach our shores by early or late December this fall. This monster is expected to hang around for the next 4 years (optimistic forecast) extending to 7 years, by the end of which, the whole landscape will look different assuming that we are left with one.

b) through the maelstorm, expect stampedes to the banks and value dimunition of our hard earned money/savings. Moreover, the bomba will be on perpetual call as fire sales become the new craze of Canland. Expect our guest carpetbaggers making a bee line for the exits as they repatriate whatever is left of their investments to patch their leaking roofs back at home. In their wake, expect our local hobo population to experience an exponential growth rate and the friendly neighbourhood crime syndicate to be inundated with new applicants as yob creation opportunities gather steam.

c) Some local banks probably will collapse as their rafters are unable to withstand the weight of chickens coming home to roost. The main contractor's neglect of regulatory oversight will cope the blame while whiz kids preen the feathers of their nest eggs for a job well done.

d) Expect a long hard erection as Joe Public ogles at the delectable assets of Miss Hyper Inflation. Erection to be prolonged as government printers go berserk in a bachanalia of collective orgasm, printing blue, red and green notes in orgiastic frenzy as the resident comptroller masturbates his angst away................

e) the price of rats, sparrows, house lizards, frogs to spiral as new exotic cuisines become de piece irresistable in many a household...........

Whoa, I will stop my imaginary hallucination... for someone is knocking at my door and flashlights are being shone at my window. Did i see a silhoutte of an eye-eye out there? Can't these nocturnal cretins leave me to enjoy this silent and holy night?

Announcement: All these things wont happen.. shame on you Revert for sowing panic. Idiot, this is what happens when a numbskull farmer reads too much into something while drinking tea. We have got him!Keep calm folks, everything is under control.. Relaklah, after all it is only Mr Ringgit who died...

Revert: Oh i love predictions especially making dire ones. If they dont come true at least i can laugh at my expense. hey.. i got freedom to do that, right?

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