Saturday, February 28, 2009

Crackshot Questions and Answers

Crackshot 1
Now why would some dishevelled butcher go to a ruler's palace to seek an audience regarding a certain girl-woman doing the striptease for the hidden lens of her paramour knowing full well it can be solved within the walls of Merchant Square?

Answer: Strange to seek advise from a ruler uninterested in the hurly-burly of bedroom politics isn't it until you realise that this a new form of ampu bodekism destined to salve the wounds that were self-inflicted down in Tinland. Get the drift? No? well, its another way of saying your Royal highness, your sagacious advise is keenly sought as we, the Riot Squad are so wedded to the idea that you, the constitutional monarch is our umbrella against the elements forever more and please dont buy the crap that we are out to legislate your institution out of existence, Tinland fiasco notwithstanding!!

Revert: Sandiwara at its best

Crackshot 2 : Why the sudden urge to hijack the anti-PPSMI agenda when it was avoided like plague all the while?

Answer: To show to the Malay rabble, that we are the hero bangsa and bahasa, the true heir of Hang Tuah's clarion call. No...please dont mistake our previous silence as consorting with them libs, free stylers etc - you know the English speaking crowd. Oh woe on us..our neutral stance is dwindling our support and we better act lest our nudity will be butt of the little' boy's jibes....Jump on the bandwagon, hijack it to show that we are with the marhaen and babble that the policy was ill-conceived by a "tyrant".
My take: It is the best policy ever devised to drag a somnolent Malay rabble form the clutches of backwardness and perpetual "stupidity". Give them English, Hisham..loads of it, cos that will wake them up from being exploited by secularist thugs, obscurantist turban lollipops and sundry poseurs. Only thing - dont forget to strongly emphasise the Fardu Ain and Agama bit and dont compromise on that!!

Crackshot 3: How come with Hamas and Fatah making up in the Middle East, the local versions in Canland (PAs and Umno) are leery of one another?

Answer: PAS would rather work assidously to establish a liberal, free thinking Malaysia where Moslems can at the flip of a sandal and the flop of a sneaker convert and revert in gay abandon which would make the Holy Prophet's hadith of being a believr at dawn and an infidel at dusk a living truism. Moreover, UMNOites are "not" Moslems. L "Umar A.Aziz "GE, Eli Womg, Sivarasa, Teresa, Karpal are infinitisemally more Moslem than ever a turbaned Hamid Albar, a skull-capped Najib and a purdahed Rafidah could ever be for the Erdogans lurking beneath the shadow of an aging alim. Guess the pondoks never taught them little kopiahites and sarbanites that a syahadah mouthing believer is forever estranged from a non-believing idol worshipper, a fire and brimstone Christian Mullah (since they are allowed to use the Islam specific "ALLAH"), a Father Pinnist and an avowed atheist no matter how "good" the latter might affect to be!. Signs of the Last days..I suppose!

Crackshot 4: What about the fracas in the Secular Holy of Holies?

Answer: Sums up the depth of the gutter into which the local politicos have willingly descended . But then again, this being Malaysia, the hoi polloi deserve to reap what they sow due to their stupidity and their penchant for a once a five-year bacchanalia of a pesta when hypocrites and poseurs from both sides of the divide will descend into the villages, new villages and estates out in the boondocks to kiss gawking and bawling infants, to pat the kerchiefed heads of old makciks, shake the gnarled hands of glassy eyed pakciks or to mesmerise the rabble out for a bangsawan night with some fiery oratory replete with unabashed venomous drivel, bawdy jokes and a slew of inanities and a gamut of animal shrieks and mechanical sounds that are hardly intellectually enlivening. And once the vote is in the bag ,watch them get into heavily tinted limosines from where they will raise their middle finger at an adoring rabble while mouthing "serve you right, Suckers!! or Once a Sucker, always a Sucker" ...pupils glinting with dollar signs behind..yes..more tinted shades!!

Revert: My concern is only for the poor handcuffed to the ever-lengthening pole of price increases and tethered to the yoke of poverty by the ropes of unemployment. Alhamdullilah, more people are coming out to help the poor in the boondocks and more people ( whether govt or opp. minded) are oping not to register as voters or distancing themselves from politics altogether. That will deliver the moral coup d' etat to any poseur affecting to think that he holds the right to power at the next hustings!!

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