Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Who Says Pigs Cannot Fly?

This is a story of an American, a pig from China and a hummingbird. You see, the American had overleveraged his tummy at a party thrown by the Greenspans where servings of cods wallop washed down by Tequila Subprime and Bacardi Derivative were simply too irresistable. Without nary a thought, he wolfed down the chow and guzzled the liqour to his heart's content burping and farting his angst away much to the disgust of his other guests. Then suddenly, it happened, like a bolt from the blue, he doubled over in pain as the excruciating belly cramps signaled it was time to beat a hasty retreat to the loo. Blue in face, he muttered beneath his liqour drenched breath "bout time, i purged my arse!"

Clutching his distended bulge, he burped and let out a humdingger of a fart, lurched like a punch drunk towards the kitchen and stumbled out through the open door into a dark alley off Walled Street. Staggering about in the dark, he blundered into an oak beneath which a clump of bushes offered a welcome sight and a moment's respite. Stripping off his pants, he squatted under the stars while a nightingale serenaded his ennui with a funreal dirge. Ahhhhh" a mixture of relief and satisfaction whistled through his lips. Swatting the flies away, he slid into his trousers and scuttled away in the dark, his muted whistle fast receding into the deathly silence.

Ambling up the street, scrounging the rubbish bins and sniffing the gutter was a Chinese pig looking for the Last Supper of an unforgiving day. Then the scent of something delicious wafted up its upturmed nostrils. Standing erect, the bearded boar sniffed the air and for an eternity stood transfixed, eyes fixed on the bushes dancing under the shimmering moonlight bathing the old oak. For a moment as time stood still and as pig stared at oak and oak at pig, Mrs Nightingale warbled her last note, cleared her throat and shat her angst as Mr Pig eyes glazed in epiphany advanced tongue lolling to partake in the feast. Sifting through the muck vainly for tasty morsels of worms, he gave up the quest and swilled the toxic waste down his throat, a belch , an oink and a smack of his lips the heavenly tunes of fulfillment..........
So there you have it readers, the genesis of the pig flu currently gripping the world. U doubt me...read this
1. "It's a frightening new strain that combines genetic material from pigs, birds and humans."
2. "It contains DNA from avian, swine and human viruses, including elements from European and Asian swine viruses, according to the U.S. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC."
and have a nice oinkish day...haha!ha! LOL
Revert: The economic collapse is about to be followed by a plague and a slew of natural disasters, Mr "Ohbummer" America. enjoy it........
Buffalo: But master, I think the Americans deliberately set this off during Obama's visit there to get back at mexico for its drug cartel....moooooooooooooooooooooooo

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