In light of Warrior 231's latest tussle with Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, hypocrite par excellence, I will add more legal jokes and this round is specifically dedicated to MIS for his capitulation to his cherished principles over the Malay mail affair and generally dedicated to all the lawyers out there . (I will reprint Warrior's deleted comments for you to judge in due course):
1.Why don't snakes bite attorneys? Professional courtesy
2.How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? His lips begin to move.
3.What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
4.What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A doberman pinscher.
5.Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
6.Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
7.Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
8."You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand."If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
9. A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
10."Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
11.Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
12. Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
13. Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?A. Who cares?
Revert: Warrior is in the midst of drafting a petition.Stay tuned................